The Seven Dwarfs

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested
an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in
to see the Holy Father. Dopey leads the pack. "Dopey, my son,"
says the Pope,
"what can I do for you?"
Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf
nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a
moment and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns
around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then
answers,"Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe." This time, all
of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and
silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, "Your extreme holiness!
Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"

After consulting with his advisers, the Pope responds, "I'm sorry
my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling, laughing and
pounding the floor, tears streaming down their cheeks as they begin
chanting,



"Dopey shagged a penguin! Dopey shagged a penguin!"

The Dear

The DEAR A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that t hey won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for a clue. "Well" the father said, "It's what mummy calls me sometimes." The little girl screams, "Don't eat it.... it's an ars-hole!!"

Psychic Daughter figures out her father

Psychic Daughter A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do." The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma." The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy." He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack! of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life." She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman dropped dead on our porch!!